Do you realize it is our thoughts generate our anger. Release negative thoughts and your anger will dissipate. This idea isn’t news to the majority of you reading this.
The only reason you get angry is because you have expectations of approval or control. You want someone else to approve of your actions… or you want to control their actions or reactions. When that doesn’t happen, you get angry.
A client once said, “One day I noticed that every time I got angry it was because I wasn’t getting what I wanted.”
“The Course In Miracles” advise that anger is fear-based and you should never express it toward others, because in doing so you’re unable to see clearly your interconnectedness with others.
Saint Augustine said, “It is better to deny entrance to just and reasonable anger than to admit it, no matter how small it is. Once let in, it is driven out again only with difficulty. It comes in as a little twig and in less than no time it grows big and becomes a beam.”
All right. But if you follow this saintly advice, what about the resulting repression? Repressed emotions fester within us and always end up appearing in some undesirable way such as ulcers, depression or misdirected antagonism. Long-term repression can cause cancer among other maladies.
We should not repress such a strong emotion as anger, but learn to control anger so it doesn’t destroy your relationships, raise your blood pressure, and come back to you in the form of cause and effect {KARMA}…. Expressed negativity will always come back to you in the form of negative experiences.
So what can you do to deprogram anger? A good place to start is by reminding yourself when you get angry that your expectations are in conflict with what is. Maybe the other person is an asshole. That’s what is. The other person is incompetent. That’s what is. The other person is inconsiderate and selfish. That’s what is. You can resist what is, blow your top and raise your blood pressure, but it won’t change what is. AND, your anger will probably only make matters worse.
I’d like to suggest mind reprogramming. Suggestions in the form of hypnosis or sleep programming is highly effective.
Many people have greatly reduced their anger levels with mantras such as. “From now on, I choose to respond to negativity with tranquility.” Say it over and over and over to yourself throughout the day – hundreds of times a day. Then when you encounter an anger-inducing situation, the programming will click in…automatically. More than likely, a firmly stated reaction will be more powerful than an angry response, which will always generate resentment in the other person.
Running is a Tibetan cure for anger. If you’re in an office, rush up and down the stairs. If you’re at home, run around the house or around the block, swim, ride a bike. Exertion requires more oxygen. When your breathing changes, your thought patterns also change.
And if you can’t run or do physical exertion, do some deep breathing. Take a deep breath and hold it as long as you comfortably can, then let it out slowly through slightly parted teeth (this allows you to retain the moisture in your mouth), and when the breath is all the way out, contract your stomach muscles and push it further out and further out. Then repeat the process. A few minutes of this breathing is extremely relaxing and will defeat immediate anger.
The idea is to learn to control your anger or it will control you.
