“…and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment.”
– Plato

What is a Soul Mate?

Soul mates are people with whom we have a deep connection in some way. We have incarnated with them before in previous lifetimes, and they are part of our soul family or soul group. Although we all are one and part of Source, we came into physical reality in groups of souls, and when we meet one of those souls from our group, the connection feels stronger with that person because we recognize the soul on a subconscious level.

Contrary to the popular concept of a soul mate being “The One” romantically, we actually have many, many soul mates, and they are not all romantic. Soul mates can be parents, children, good friends, lovers, or teachers, for example. They might stay in our lives always or appear only briefly. All of our past love relationships, even bad ones, are soul mates.

It can be hard to grasp the idea that an ex was a soul mate, especially if it was a difficult relationship. These soul mates are known as karmic soul mates – connecting with us purposefully to help our souls overcome past karma or issues and to help our souls grow spiritually. Once the lessons are learned, we can choose to move on from that particular soul mate or stay with them.

While all soul mates carry lessons for each other, there are some that are referred to as divine soul mates or “twin-flames” – the perfect love or the best friend, who bring little in the way of drama, and are the perfect match for us, in this lifetime. A soul mate who was a perfect love in a past life, may not be our love in this life.

Edgar Cayce on Soul Mates

When asked about finding the right marriage partner, Cayce often replied as he did to this woman. “…We might find twenty-five or thirty such, if you choose to make it so! It is what you make it!”

Cayce believed we had a number of soul mates, i.e., people with whom we had incarnated before and with whom we could create a positive relationship. He discussed the characteristics by which we could identify those people. They were people who would assist us in our soul development.

He told us to look for the person who helped us be a better person. He often referred to a spouse as a “help meet,” in reference to “help mate.” He said we would be drawn to souls we had known before and in order to complete unfinished business, we would pick up where we left off.

Cayce consistently encouraged us to look at our values, set an ideal for ourselves, and have a sense of life’s direction. In some readings he discouraged clients from marrying a particular person. “It would be best never to marry him—thy ideals will be destroyed.” This response was based on his knowledge of their most recent past lives and the issues that were left unresolved between them.

Cayce, “the purpose of all relationships is spiritual development.” He cautions us to honestly interpret our relationships on this basis: “Does it challenge and stretch me? Does it encourage me to become a more balanced, giving person? Does this relationship bring out the very best within me?”

These questions may be applied to all our relationships, whether they be romantic or not. Souls often reincarnate in groups, and often to accomplish a particular purpose. “ …even work relationships in which individuals are brought together to achieve some greater goal.”

Though soul mates may even appear to be the source of obstacles in one’s life, they are in fact people with whom we can work through our challenges. Relationships bring out what’s hidden, the best and the worst, in order that we may encounter and transcend our issues.

            “Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over again to annihilation can that which is indestructible arise within us.  In this lies the dignity of daring.  We must have the courage to face life, to encounter all that is most perilous in the world,” said philosopher and psychotherapist Karlfried Graf Durkheim.     

“The desire to protect ourselves from change probably does more harm to the flowing of human life and spirit than almost any other choice, but it is imperative to understand something about security:  It isn’t secure!  Everything about security is contrary to the central fact of existence:  Life changes.  By trying to shelter ourselves from change, we isolate ourselves from living.  By avoiding risk we may feel safe and secure–or at least experience a tolerable parody thereof–but we don’t avoid the harangues of our consciences.  It’s almost axiomatic that the important risks we don’t take now become the regrets we have later.  In fact, I was once told that if I’m not failing regularly, I’m living so far below my potential that I’m failing anyway.”   Callings, Gregg Levoy

 “Courage is the willingness to be afraid and to act anyway,” say Steward Emery.

            Your life will always mirror what you put out.  Fearful thoughts and actions will generate a fearful life of no action.  When you hold back, your life holds back.  But when you are willing to be afraid and act anyway, committing yourself to life, you generate aliveness and open up to the full potential of joy.

            All change and growth involve three steps:

            *Discontent:  Because of outside conditions or your own inner feelings, you decide your current situation no longer works for you.

            *Turmoil:  Normally, a period of mental turmoil follows in which you challenge your old beliefs.  You begin to fantasize how things could be different.  This transitional period could last a day or years–until something happens.

            *Action:  Something or someone helps you to make a decision, or an opportunity presents itself, or you manage to attain clarity.  Once this happens, you take action and, ideally, manifest a more satisfying life.

The idea is to be courageous enough to embrace change, knowing that your soul is in search of new experiences to provide growth, growth is why you incarnated upon the earth in the first place.